Giving. Is it About What You Get or Something More?

For a few weeks I have been mulling over the same set of thoughts over and over again.  Giving. Having just had my birthday, I was the recipient of one of the MOST amazing gifts I have ever received. The gift on knowing just how much my hug, and honest friendship meant to someone in my life.

So often I see the same relationship when it comes to giving. People have a bargain-type relationship with giving. It is seen perfectly, in an exaggerated form, in an episode of The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon and Penny give each other gifts for the holidays.  Sheldon struggles to find something that will be an equal monetary value for the gift he may receive, and Penny gives a gift that is of significance.  This leaves Sheldon to try making up the difference.  Giving is not meant to be a relationship of exchange.  It is not, I will give this to you but you need to give that to me.  It is not a competition of who can outdo who, it is not a fucking transaction.  Do not give with expectations that is a business relationship.

I believe this is why so many people look to charity to relieve a bit of guilt that has built up from the give and get of these relationships.  In recent years those close to me have seen a shift in me, those that are newer to my life only know it as how I am.  I am doing my best to give from a place of gratitude.  I give because I am thankful for what I have, I am thankful to be able to share and thankful to be able to do what I can in the moment.

My friend Stephanie is doing her very first half ironman tri tomorrow! It did not even cross my mind to not be there.  Am I going because she drove up to Minneapolis in September? NO. Am I driving because she roomed with me at Fitbloggin? NO! Why am I doing it… because she is my Celery and I am her Carrot and giving support and cheering is something I can do.  I cannot imagine NOT being there.

So here I am on the eve of the tri basking in the greatness of gratitude in a suite at my hotel so happy to be able to give what I can on this day. Tonight will be dinner with friends old and new, tomorrow I will cry as my friend pursues her dreams and goals, and gives her all.

I guess I just want to raise your conscious level for a moment and make you think about giving.  Think the next time you GIVE why you are doing it.  Try to remove your expectations from the picture.  Hold the door, but don’t expect it to be held.  Buy a coffee and don’t worry if they pay it forward or not.  Do for other people.  Believe and BE LIVE IN THE MOMENT. Be present, it is a gift.

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