Coming out of the dark. #NoStigma

Hi guys! When I last checked in with you I told you I was in a very dark place. I am not ashamed at all to admit that I have struggled with my mental health for much of my life. Dating back to my adolescence I have had issues with depression, and anxiety. Sometimes you just need some help.

I recall being pricked up from school, being told we were going out to lunch and instead being taken to see a therapist. You can imagine how that ended. Don’t lie to your kid folks. Just don’t. You think you are protecting them, but really you are just creating a way to protect to yourself. You need to find the courage of your own convictions.

At the end of August my struggles reached what I call a tipping point. I have been working with a doctor and a psychiatrist since December on meds to try and right the ship. Well… the ship decided to hit a reef and overturn during the holiday weekend and I needed to call for help.

I needed to step back from everything. This was hard. I stepped away from nearly everything. I left my job, my home, I stopped reading and watching the news. I stepped away from most of social media. I took very few phone calls, saw very few people. This I am sure seems drastic to some, but I was at a point where if I did not step back… the thought I was having ere going to cause very ad thing to happen.

For those following along on Instagram, or Facebook my departure probably seemed a bit odd. The tone of my posts changed, it I have not made a public statement over my need for more formal help. Those close to me know what happened to me. They knew I was losing my grip, and needed urgent help. We show the best parts of our lives to the outside, we put the best parts of our lives on social media, and tell the best stories to other. There is no reason for me to continue to be okay when you’re not.

I do have to acknowledge the great friends that I have who have all supported me through this. Asking for help can be SO scary.

The good news is there is light t the end of the tunnel. I do not believe that it is a train coming at me. I have started some new medications that seem to be helping stabilize my moods, and also life the depression and anxiety. I am working on a routine, and on coping kills for anxiety.

I am working on self-care plans. Things like going back to prepping meals, going for walks (even if they aware short ones, as I am still experiencing pain and weakness in the ankle I broke last year). I am also working on my art again. I am taking some glass fusing classes at Goddess of Glass in Minneapolis, which will be two-fold. It will let me work on my creative side, but also allow me to make some holiday gifts. I am also looking into a way to or on my drawing digitally. I used to draw pen and pencil on paper… but that takes up a lot of space. So I might invest in the 53 Pencil for my iPad.

Anyone up for sharing their self-care tips? What do you do to take care of yourself? How do you make time for you? How do you leave work at work or the troubles at the door? One suggestion was to blast my radio and sing along or physically find something to touch and leave my troubles on. I’m open to suggestions I figure anything might be worth trying!

One thought on “Coming out of the dark. #NoStigma

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