0

Let the healing begin. 


A month or so ago I took my first glass fusing class. It was a private class for a friends birthday party. 

I had a good time, I was very unsure of myself during the first class. I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do, or how I wanted to lay thing out. 

I was not in love with how things turned out from my first class, they weren’t horrible… but they were very much disarrayed. 


I gifted one of the pendants away already from that class. One of the “soap dishes” is currently on my stove as a spoon rest. Some of those pendants weren’t even made by me because I ran out of time!! 

During my latest round of issues I realized I need to have more hobbies. More outlets for stress, more ways to channel my creativity, a way to turn off the fuzzy noise. 

I went back to try again, taking a class where you made a garden hanging piece. I even invited some friends along! A friend I hadn’t seen in months joined me, as well as a friend that does my nails came to class. 

Again I was stumped for ideas… but being me rainbows are always something I gravitate to. 

On the left side of the photo below you’ll see the before, and on the right the after/fused project. 


I enjoy the class, and started thinking about ideas of what I might be able to make if I had more time.  

It was time for another private party, and I had ideas heading into the party. Lofty goals of things I want to make in glass. Ideas for things I might like to see in my home now or in the future. Thoughts about things that might make good presents. 


I felt super satisfied at the end of this class. I made the first piece I was super proud of. My unicorn! I also made a few other random pieces but I was very drawn into the unicorn. 

Leaving that class I knew I needed to sign up for another class. I could feel the grip loosening and I could feel my creative side coming back out. 


I am in a place right now where I am letting the glass speak to me, and I speak back.  I have a few ideas. There is a list in my phone of sets of plates I would like to see. Ideas I could try. I still let the glass lead the way. 

Today I took a “big plates” class. I opted not to do the platter, because we just don’t have the space. I did two smaller ones. I only decided 24 hours before to take the class. I didn’t have anything really in mind. 


I looked at the glass. I looked for light and shadow. I looked for what I could see beyond the glass. I looked for balance and waited for the pieces to talk to me. 

I am excited to see how the pieces come out once they are fused. I have at least two more fusing classes on the books at this time. It’s been really nice to feel like I am a part of something even with changing faces in each class. 
I can feel myself relaxing into the process with each session. I can feel the pieces leading me to the project instead of the other way around and it’s a treat. 

2

You are Beautiful

“You’re really beautiful” and “you’re really good at what you do; not your job how you handle your interactions with life”

Those two statements were given to me as I walked over the Mississippi River under the stars Friday night. Treasured words given to me by someone I am getting to know better. 

I can’t explain how amazing it has been to continue to see the evolution of myself. This transformation into a different person by simply choosing to live more in the now and do what makes me happy. It is a long road to figure out who and what you are in life. 

To hear that someone who I have only really known for a comparatively short period of time sees beauty in me, and sees that significance in the way I conduct my life is incredible. 

The brief walk and talk we shared from the bar I’m sure was part sweet intoxication, but inside all drunken stupors there is some truth. Truth that the shift I have made in life has given way to my happiness. 

Those statements a out who I am are probably the best gifts I could receive as a birthday present this year; and they reinforce that living my best life and pushing the limits for myself and lifting others up is exactly what I need to continue to do. 

I may just have to start visiting the river more… it may become a new happy place.  

1

Haters Gonna Hate.

Players gonna play, and haters gonna hate! I headed into work today, still buzzing a little bit high from having done the color run yesterday.  I was still sporting my silver and gold star temporary tattoos on my left arm and my silver unicorn on my right arm, as it is okay to have these things show at work, or so it seems, when I was asked about that “thing on my arm.”

I said oh this? Excited to have someone ask about my unicorn, I went on to say it was part of the Color Run yesterday, and that I was still sort of stained a little bit, because I have some splotches of paint scattered various places.  As I explained what the color run was, I got this whiff of nastiness washing over me from the other party involved.  “Why were you even outside yesterday.” “You shouldn’t be doing that.” “You’re going to *blah blah blah*” and I tuned right on out. In my mind all I could do was visualize myself rising above all of the what I can only imagine as self-doubt, or self-hate, or something else internally because, I knew my limits, and I respected them.

Yes it was hot, yes I am sore because I have ONE new blister… but I did really well with prep work on my feet and managed to protect enough that I only ended up with one.  I spent much of the day picturing myself as a little red balloon rising along a rainbow in the sky of clouds and sun today. I can be rooted in the ground, and floating above things at the same time.  It is a very, peaceful place to be, and I am working very hard to stay in this place.

I am working to let go of a lot of things, things that are too stressful, things I cannot change.  I often find that I am accused of doing too many things for other people, and am working on a balance of doing things for myself.  The act of rising above is a gift of kindness itself.  To forgive others for their judgement and harshness is a gift to others.

I am a work in progress, but I feel like working towards a shift in the way we think helps change who we are and how we see the world.  I am doing my best to take a moment each day and honor myself, whether it is in forgiveness, in physical action, or in some other way.

Be kind to yourself, be kind to each other, and remember to find something everyday to celebrate, inside and outside of yourself!